There are no words to describe the previous week. I had to deal with all sorts of emotions; fear, regret, relief, hopefulness, hopelessness, gratitude and the list goes on.
"How do you like your eggs" Tomi asked.
"Anything goes Tomi. I should even be the one making you breakfast"
"Noo...come on. It's your day" she said.
It appeared I would be spending most of the day with Tomi oddly. It was my birthday and my brother had come out straight that he was planning a birthday dinner for me. He didn’t have the patience to try and pull-off a surprise party. I wouldn't have advised it even, with the mood I had been in, you'll just never know what I'd find interesting. The heads-up was nice. It turned out Toju was planning something for me as well so he just decided to work something out together.
Tomi does interior designs and coincidentally, facials too. Like Rachael would say "looks like that girl can design anything". She had offered to help me prepare but she decided to come much earlier. Daniel had hinted that he wanted us to spend some time together.
Tomi was cool honestly. What put me off was how she always seemed so needy. She called Daniel for every little thing. Their relationship was a bit over three months now and I didn’t want to be that sister.
We did as Daniel wished. She asked me how I was finding the jobless life. I told her leaving the work was absolutely necessary, I just wish I had something else going on. Then she said "Good thing you have Toju now"
I figured she was one to say that. She equated work with relationship and tried to pry, with just one statement. But I was in a good mood that morning. Partly because I had consciously prepared myself to be in a good mood for the day. Also because the previous night, I had a deep talk with myself and I had found total calmness.
At about 5pm, we started to get ready for my dinner. I was excited all of a sudden. Everyone would be there. With all the love I had been getting all day, I couldn't wait to be in the same room with family and friends. I felt like a child.
The night went well and there were lovely pictures to show it. The pictures also confirmed that we were official, myself and Toju. The food was great and there were a lot of laughs. Just my ideal night; good food, good company.
I'll admit it, the pictures may have been misleading. People would think my life was perfect, others would say I was pretending that my life is perfect but it wasn't just for show, it was genuinely a good night.
The best part was when I was by myself. It was way past midnight and my birthday was over. I was wide awake reflecting on the night, and my life as far back as I could remember. I have always loved to be relevant. When you're relevant, you're known and you're respected. But now I wanted to be relevant, just because. There are a lot of things to contribute to, so many wrongs need to be made right and it's time for me to take life a bit more seriously.
I remembered the 'her voice' event. I couldn't speak there anymore but I still had a voice. I decided to use it. It's amazing, the best of the best moments can not be captured.
I was alone in that moment when I made what was one of my biggest life decisions.
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